Ephesians 4:25-5:2
What do you want to be
when you grow up?
It’s a simple question,
one we start asking very young children and continue to ask until they are sick
of it! This week I’m sure many school aged children were asked that exact
question. I know mine were.
Sometimes we ask
because we want to be reminded of our own childhood dreams and innocence.
Sometimes we ask to get a good laugh. Sometimes we ask because we can’t think
of what else to ask a young child.
In my previous call as
an associate pastor I was in charge of our Wednesday night children’s
programing. At the beginning of the new school year we filled out posters that
were “All About Me!” These posters had questions for the kids about their
favorite food, book, bible story etc. and one space said “What do you want to
be when you grow up?” The kids gave all sorts of answers, from astronaut to
artist, from zoo keeper to ballerina. When I filled mine out to hang on the
wall with the kids I answered that question as honestly as I could.
I put the name of a
woman I admired in that congregation very much. I said “When I grow up I want
to be just like Ms. Debbie.” Ms. Debbie is an amazingly loving and caring
woman. She works diligently, she is faithful at personal and group bible study,
she loves kids and Jesus and adults, even when they all are annoying! Ms.
Debbie is who I want to be when I grow up.
Because, as the Young
Adults and I talked about Wednesday night, adulting is hard y’all! Waking up
each morning and realizing that if you don’t get the things done, they won’t
get done is rough. Realizing that the buck stops at your wallet is painful. Being
a grown up is not all it’s cracked up to be. And while we were discussing we decided
that there are real grownups in our congregation that we’d like to be like when
we finally really grow up. I’m not naming names, just pointing out that a lot
of you seem to be doing things right!
In our passage from
Ephesians today the author is telling the people what it will be like when they
grow up spiritually. This is not to non-Christians, but to people who have
publically proclaimed their faith and claimed their identity as children of
God.
This is a letter to a
group of new believers who now find themselves in the position of putting the
rubber to the road in their new faith. No more lounging around in their sin,
not really being aware of it. No more waiting for someone else to bring them
nourishment, but getting up and participating themselves, feeding others while
they are at it. It’s time for them to stop acting like Christians and start
BEING Christians!
The first step in this
process is to put away falsehood. This is much more than an admonishment to
remember the “do not bare false witness” commandment. It is a statement of a
way of living. Be authentic, be who you are. Be open and honest with one
another. Speak the truth to your neighbor because we, as Christians, belong to
one another and our truth will affect others truths.
But why would we risk
that? Speaking the truth is risky at best! It’s often not considered polite and
it’s a huge commitment. Speaking the truth is easy when what we have to say is
kind or the same as everyone else, but when it’s different, when it’s not as
acceptable, that’s when it gets tricky at best.
I’m not talking about
telling a friend that the color of her new lipstick is not the best shade for
her, or saying you like someone’s new car when you really think it is an
ecological nightmare. I’m talking about real truth telling, the kind that can
make or break relationships.
I’m talking about
things like the day I sat down in my apartment that I shared with my little
brother in college, surrounded by beer cans and strange people and told him “I
can’t live like this, and neither can you. I’m calling Mom and Dad, because you
need help.”
I’m talking about truth
telling like when my 17 year old cousin came to me three months before my
wedding in which she was to be a bridesmaid and said “I’m pregnant, I’d understand
if you don’t want me to be in your wedding.” We together told her parents and
my parents, and I said I needed her as a part of the wedding party, because she
was loved by me and by God.
I’m talking about the
hard truths, the ones we sometimes don’t even want to share with ourselves.
These are the truths that we are to share with the body of Christ in hopes of
building them up, not tearing them down. Stop acting like Christians and star
BEING Christians.
Be angry, but don’t
sin, are the next instructions from the author. Anger is something we are all
too familiar with in our society. The anger and hatred that are spewed from
televisions, Facebook, twitter, and people’s daily conversation is
unbelievable. Anger is a normal human emotion, and it is one we cannot expect
to never feel.
However, as maturing
Christians how we handle that anger is important. Do not sin in your anger, do
not hurt others, separate yourself from the community of believers, do not harm
in anger. You are going to get mad, but don’t let it consume you, don’t let it
take over, don’t let the sun go down on it, scripture says. Don’t give Satan
that foothold in your life. Deal with the anger immediately. Don’t let it
fester and get rooted in the community of faith. The reconciled community of
faith must practice reconciliation with one another, especially when this
emotion is raised and that reconciliation often begins with naming anger as
anger and going forward from that naming.
Too often we let the anger
simmer just under the surface rather than dealing with the actual offence. We’d
rather let someone cool off then deal with their frustration, but being a part
of the community of faith involves helping one another even in the midst of the
emotional harm that can be experienced in anger or from anger.
The writer goes on to
say that people should stop stealing. Okay, this one is pretty obvious isn’t
it? Again it’s one of the top 10 no no’s of the faith. But the reasoning behind
it is different. This isn’t just because stealing is wrong, or taking things
that belong to someone else is not kind. The reasoning given is that if you are
stealing, then you can’t help take care of other people! There is something inherent
about being the people of God that includes caring for one another. If you are
not supporting yourself, then you cannot support others in need. The work ethic
itself is transformed into participation in Christ’s ministry.
No matter how little
you have, don’t resort to taking from others, but instead focus on how you can
help others. This is part of the heart of Christianity. T.D. Niles famously said
“Evangelism is one beggar telling another beggar where to find bread.” It’s not
taking others bread and keeping it. It’s not buying all of the bread so that we
never run out. It’s about offering to share even what little we have with one
another.
At the women’s
conference in Bowling Green I was introduced to a young homeless woman named
Britany. Britany had lunch with a group of us at Jimmy Johns. She wasn’t sure
what she wanted to eat and finally she came to the table with a long piece of
day old bread and several packets of mayonnaise. She looked up at us and said “I’m
you are ever homeless, Jimmy Johns sells day old bread for 50 cents and they don’t
charge for mayo. It’s not a lot, and it will fill you up for a while.”
She didn’t judge us for our excess, she didn’t
lecture us on how many of her friends could be eating based on what we had
spent for sandwiches and cokes. Instead, she offered wisdom and love to us, in case
we were ever to find ourselves in her circumstances.
Her words built up the community
of Christ. They were not malicious or hateful, but kind and generous. There was
a truth in them that needed to be heard, an honesty that I’m sure was not easy
to give.
Can you imagine if
every Christian lived this way? Honest, open, vulnerable, without malice,
speaking words of encouragement, lifting one another up? Making decisions not
on what is best for me, but on whether A or B would allow us to do more good
for those around us?
When we don’t do these
things we grieve the Holy Spirit. Christianity is an ongoing encounter with the
living, loving God in Christ Jesus. We Christians sometimes seem to forget that
or at least to live into that. We seem to have forgotten the very incarnational
nature of Christ!
If we are the body of
Christ, if the Word was made flesh and dwells among us, then we are not called
to merely worship God, but to put on the nature of Christ, to be imitators of
Christ for the sake of the church and for the sake of the world which God loves!
Too often when we
admire other people, look at people to imulate we don’t see the real them. We
see a persona, a mask put on to show the world. Everyone has someone that they
look up to, that person who seems to have it all together. But remember, you
may be that someone to someone else.
When I grow up I want
to be like Ms. Debbie. But really not like Ms. Debbie, but rather like the
Christ that lives in Ms. Debbie. I want to love as Christ loves, to speak truth
as Christ does, to build up as Jesus does, to offer forgiveness as Jesus does. In
short, I want to stop acting like a Christian, and start Being a Christian.
